Answer – Because it’s worth it!
I did laugh when I first heard this comment, and whilst I do not expect my clients to ask for my blessing before proposing, I am often asked about the considerations for marriage. I tell me clients that as their adviser, it is not recommended. A nervous look appears, and they immediately start regretting the $5,000 deposit they have just paid for the engagement ring, venue, wedding planner, photographer, band etc.
I assure them I am not (entirely) serious, and it is not personal based on the person they will propose, rather an exercise in explaining how ‘finances’ and ‘emotions’ are so intertwined – it is not possible for one decision to be influenced by the other.
If we looked at marriage as a financial decision in isolation, fewer would marry as it represents an equally important threat and opportunity. If a client asked me about a long-term investment that is valued in the thousands, if not millions, that has a 30%-60% chance of decimating your financial situation, in addition to enormous personal challenges that would exist for the remainder of their life, they should find another adviser if I suggested it was a good idea. Conversely, a long-term partnership can yield huge financial benefits – double income for decades, economy of scale to share expenses, ability to manage tax more effectively across 2 legal entities (Partner 1 & partner 2), and the ability to work as a team to bring different thoughts and solutions to the table. It could work so well, that it could be argued that marrying a person of greater wealth than your own, (and soon to be your wealth), is indeed a good financial decision.
If these were the only considerations, it is clear marriage may not represent a sound financial decision, but clearly there is far more at play – emotions. Like any big decision, we don’t have a crystal ball but weigh up the pros and cons and try and make the decision with all the facts on the table. High emotion doesn’t always allow clarity of thought.
A final consideration is that I am often approached by clients who are financially ‘starting again’ following separation. They may have experienced emotional, financial, and physical abuse and the financial downsides are far outweighed by the relief of safety & security that may have been missing for decades.
